What to be..?

Yesterday night i got insomnia
and eventually got serious headache
is it because of what i am thinking?

Well , i am actually thinking about my future
I used to dream of becoming a doctor
not because of the emolument or to become outstanding among my friends
but is to help the waif over the world
especially those who had lost everything after calamility
and those who tribulate from serious emotional challenges on losing their family after the inhumane disasters
and about 65% of them might suffer from injuries
how i wish i can help them

but then
i think i cant fulfill what i always dreamt about
this probably is because to be a doctor is not easy
and if i cant get any scholarship
the chances will get slimmer
or maybe what i can do in the future is just donate some money to the poor rather than go and help them on my own...
Yes , maybe i could go and visit them but what i mean here is to apply what i have learnt throughout my study life to ease their pain

Wow..perhaps i should make a fullstop here
stop dreaming
unless i really could study medicine
or else
i think i will just be as normal as others
donate money and pray for them..
huuu...
:-)