What to be..?

Yesterday night i got insomnia
and eventually got serious headache
is it because of what i am thinking?

Well , i am actually thinking about my future
I used to dream of becoming a doctor
not because of the emolument or to become outstanding among my friends
but is to help the waif over the world
especially those who had lost everything after calamility
and those who tribulate from serious emotional challenges on losing their family after the inhumane disasters
and about 65% of them might suffer from injuries
how i wish i can help them

but then
i think i cant fulfill what i always dreamt about
this probably is because to be a doctor is not easy
and if i cant get any scholarship
the chances will get slimmer
or maybe what i can do in the future is just donate some money to the poor rather than go and help them on my own...
Yes , maybe i could go and visit them but what i mean here is to apply what i have learnt throughout my study life to ease their pain

Wow..perhaps i should make a fullstop here
stop dreaming
unless i really could study medicine
or else
i think i will just be as normal as others
donate money and pray for them..
huuu...
:-)

寻寻觅觅...

朋友都说我条件太高,
其实我的要求真的不高...
我甚至可以接受各个方面都不特出的
因为我寻找的不是条件
是
~那感觉

我身边其实有好多好多条件都非常好的男性友人
可也不见得我每个都喜欢啊
甚至全部都没有吧..=D
有时候我也常在想
那些能在一年交上好几个男朋友的女生到底是因为真的喜欢他
还是只纯粹想找个人填补寂寞的心灵
又或许是因为对方有钱呢..?
除了她们 , 没有人比我更加清楚
对我来说
尚若我们和一个人在一起是因为他所拥有的条件
或是因为他对你的好,想补偿对方
或者是因为孤单寂寞
对两方都会造成很大的伤害
不会幸福
如果有一天你突然对某人有感觉
而他却已有了心上人
那就意味着你们
有缘无份
不可以 , 不能 , 不应该 , 和不需要强求
人家说得不到的东西往往会产生遗憾
但那才能显现出人生之美
不是吗..?
如果我们每想要的东西都能轻而易举的得到
生活就没有任何意义了
终而言之
我们因该诚实的面对自己
快快乐乐地过那短暂的生活..
^0^

MoViE DaY

i took photo with him twice and he just couldnt sit still=.=''


My sis and my bro


Manage to take a pic before i went in the cinema...but is too dark lar..>.<

Today i went for movie with my siblings..
the three of us went the spring around 5.30pm and had our dinner at the food court..
Then we chit-chat until 6.45pm and went taikiong to buy some snacks for our movie later
We watch Shrek
Actually i dont prefer cartoon but my bro and sis want to watch it..
so i just have to follow..
if not i think i rather prefer prince of persia
That movie look nicer..haha..
anyway , Shrek is nice and is very funny..i would like to give erm..4.7 out of 5..=D
Anyway we had a great time and today is a memorial day for us..=)

Phobia-S

I got these phobias since i was young...

Acrophobia- Fear of heights
( that why i dont enjoy at all when i go places like funfair )

Aeronausiphobia- Fear of vomiting secondary to airsickness
( i will vomit or feel serious dizziness on plane unless i take medicine )

Claustrophobia- Fear of confined spaces.
( make me feels like i am being controlled )

Phasmophobia- Fear of ghosts.
( no explaination for this ) AMEN +

Brontophobia- Fear of thunder and lightning.
( no reason )

Cynophobia- Fear of dogs or rabies
( dogs especially =.='' )

Dishabiliophobia- Fear of undressing in front of someone.
( i have to protect my pride )

Iatrophobia- Fear of going to the doctor or of doctors.
( i afraid that i might hear something bad from the doctor =/)

A Pissed off Day

I am so pissed off today
Not only that , I am terribly sad
As usual , i wait for my dad to pick me up at the location where he wants me to be there
but , out of my expectation , my mum come and fetch me instead of my dad as he is busy with his office work
My mum who seldom pick me up do not know where i usually wait for my dad
so , she wait me somewhere else
and i wait for my dad somewhere else as well
Then i wait for half an hour until my mum finally come and bring me back
I am so angry but i kept quiet ( i will do that normally when i am angry )
She scold me and say me stupid
Say why didnt i go and search for her and make her wait for so long
How do i know who is going to pick me up today?
and how do i know where is she..?
and do you think that it is only you who is waiting? I am also waiting for you under the hot sun!!
but i didnt voice out
Of course i thought is my dad as he is always the one to go and fetch me
She keep scolding but i just kept quiet while tears rolling down my cheeks ( im so hurt)
She keep saying that is not her fault and is all MY fault
After we reached home , i quickly get out from the car and hurried to the washroom and cry ( release - by turn the shower on so that she dont hear me crying )
Then burried my face under pillow while listen to some soothing songs to calm myself down
I wander how could she blame everything on me and keep insisting that is not her fault at all

SO PISSED OFF..
and i realise that sometimes being a NOT offenssive child is so tiring as we need to accept rebuke from our parents and still could not say anything
Haiz
what a bad day..='(

I MISS SG MAONG~!

Well , actually i just have that type of feelings after i enter this school
"GR"( in short form , and no doubt that you dont know)
I believes that for most of the students , when they heard bout the name of this school..
Probably they will say 'WoW , thats a good school wei "
Yes , i do have that kind of thinking before
But , my judgement is just opposite.. i just have to cheat myself at first for not and could not believe what i have seen with my naked eyes in these two weeks time
I have joined the prefectorial board
At first I am surprise that the whole class only me and woonshan volunteer to become a prefect
What bout those GR students? I wander how come they dont want to be the prefect? Isnt it good? Can get extra marks in KK and to go for better Uni after graduate..Why not?

I was totally wrong..
The prefrectorial board in this school have so much differences compare to our school
The one that really shocked me is that

~HANDPHONES ARE NOT BANNED~

How could it be? A good school allow their students to bring in illegal tools?


Everytime , during the recess time , l can see bout 75% of the students eating while playing with their handphones at the canteen or standing somewhere in the school compound SMS-ING or even call their friends outside.They can even hang those earphones on their ears openlly WHILE play their handphone's music with the loud speaker ON!

Then
I start to understand why nobody wants to be a prefect
simply just because the students here are already out of control
REALLY OUT OF CONTROL

i start to miss my school
where every students is so well-mannered , obey the rules , and obedient as well
and the prefects are doing their best by making sure no students go against the school rules
and also
I miss Mr Goh wei...
He is really a good dicipline teacher
Strict but friendly
He knows how to handle those rebellious students
I look up to him..

Im thinking should or not quit the prefectorial board
I got no passion towards my duty
where those students are so unruly , and arrogant

If SG Maong do open F6 , i would stay wei...
I miss SG Maong lar...TT

有意思的言论..:)

当你比别人好一点点时 , 别人就会嫉妒你
当你比别人好一大截时 , 别人就会羡慕你



如果你从没哭过 , 那么你的眼睛就不会迷人



一个男人的一百个同性朋友 , 也不足以代替一个好女人.
好女人是好男人寻找自己 , 走向自己 , 然后豪迈走向人生的百折不挠的力量

自己不曾拥有 , 却快乐地欣赏别人的拥有




每个成功的女人背后都有一个目瞪口呆的男人



走到人生尽头 , 才发现落后别人是福气

相识就是缘份

突然好想回国民服务
记得当时..
每个星期四和五晚上8时正
我们都会排排队到兵营外面不远处的课室上课
对华人的我们来说
这两天晚上都是大家的最爱
因为都是华人, 没有' 别人 '
由于我选择的是进佛学会
刚开始听到他们念佛经的时候感到不舒服
可是上了两三堂之后..比较可以适应了..=)

我们的讲师是惠慈姐..
她没有很吸引人的脸蛋, 标准的身材, 也没有时尚的敏锐
但她有一颗善解人意的心..
对我们来说, 她真的很美很美....

记得第一个星期日要去佛堂的时候
我一进门就想吐, 头也晕晕的..
惠慈姐见状, 急忙叫我到椅子上休息
第二个星期日我还是一样
惠慈姐拿一杯温水给我喝
还放影片让我解闷..(影片名: 二十四孝)
第三个星期和接下来的日子渐渐好转..
我想原因大多是惠慈姐的功劳哦..=D
要回家的两个星期前我也摔绞了..
惠慈姐叫辉哥(佛堂的一位哥哥)帮我买药
她和他都没收我钱..还叮咛我要照顾好自己, 按时涂药
我觉得真的好感动..
回来古晋后她还经常信息我问我伤口好了没
感动+感动...=))

惠慈姐也有些奇怪的僻好
她不喜欢拍照
所以我们的纪念照里边都没有她..
惠慈姐也从不告诉任何人她的生日
对她而言, 生日就等于母亲受难日
不可以庆祝
我想像惠慈姐那么善良的人真的没几个吧..
换作是我们一定会大式庆祝生日咯..

她也常说我们能够相遇就是缘分
我好高兴我能和她结这个缘
我也希望我们有缘再见..
=)

我忍....T.T

我忍~~~

T.T

刚刚父母带我去看中医..
其实我背痛有一年咯..
因为我固执, 拖到现在才去..
中医师说为什么拖到现在才来..很严重哦~
我只能以笑带过..XD
过程中我很痛..我忍着..有几次不耐喊了出来..
蛮好笑的..=D
现在感觉背后皮被撕裂般 , 有点辣又有点痛痛哦...=/
他也说我身体很虚...弱和贫血...
没想到那么严重耶...
不能喝咖啡了..也要按时吃药..
:'(

我想应该会好的啦..

God Bless Me...+

New Start..

Form 6 has just started..we are having orientation for 5 days..From 11th to 15th.. It is so boring..
Irene who sat beside me this morning say she nearly fall asleep when the headmaster of GrAss is giving his speech...According to the principal , there are only 7 students who get straight As' last year.. OMG... 100 plus students only 7 get straight As'..?? HOPELESS ==''
I feel stressful.. Yes..We have not yet start our lesson but i feel worried..I scare i choose the wrong path which will affect my future..How i wish i could choose to go anywhere to study..

There are pros and cons when studying form 6

Which are~

The good one :
1. It is cheaper ( We do not need to pay fees from semester to semester )
2. Lighten our parents' burden
3. Do not need to worry bout food and accommodation because we are staying with family

The bad one :
1. Very difficult to score ( only 7 students excel last year..=.= )
2. It is very stessfull compare to a level or foundation
3. If we didnt score , the government will not give you the course that you asked for
4. And your SPM result will be wasted just like that..even though you work really hard for ur SPM and manage to get good result , people will still look at your STPM result..

sigh.....

走一步是一步了咯....=/

=)

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY Ah Ni ^_^

Happy Mother's Day MUM =)

My Mum's Favourite Cake : Bluberry ^0^

Took this picture secretly without her knowing..=D

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MUMMY..<3