Messed up

The feeling is terrible , horrible and insecure
Wandering what is going to be in your future
Shillyshally all the decisions
i am really sick of them

The high expectation from mother
I hate grouse , comparism
:' Who ask you got this result ?' , :' Why people can get scholarship but u cant?'
How am i going to answer all these?
Is not i am lazy , is not i was inattentive in class , is not i am not diligent enough
I have tried

Tell you that i want to study in KL
You say being a Q.S will not augur well for my future
but when the application week is over
you blame me..
Fine , i am wrong

How i wish i could get away from here for awhile
to somewhere that only has peacefulness
to somewhere that has no one to influence my thought
How i wish...

Now i realise
no matter how much people you know ,
or how many conquests you have made
You are still alone
Only you yourself know how you feel
nobody is there to suffer all these with you

Be strong ( thats the only word to console myself )